A woman holding a baby gets on a bus. The bus driver looks at them and says" Damn, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" In a huff the woman slams her money into the farebox and goes to the rear of the bus.

The man seated next to her sees she's agitated and asks what's wrong. "The bus driver insulted me!" she fumes. "That's outrageous!" says the man. "He's a public servant and shouldn't be insulting passengers." "You 're right!" the woman says. "I think I'll go up there and give him a piece of my mind!"

"That's a good idea," says the man. "'I'll hold your monkey."

"Daddy," said a six-year-old boy, "I'd like to get married."
"Sure, son." said his father. "Anyone special in mind?"
"Yes," answered the boy. "GrandMa." "Now, wait a minute," said his father.
"You don't think I'd let you marry my mother, do you!!"
"Why not?" the boy asked. "You married mine."

A Guide to Tourists at Niagara falls: "I welcome you all to Niagara falls. These are the world's largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard. Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra falls."

Heart Specialist

A heart specialist doctor died and they're having his funeral. The coffin was placed in front of a huge heart.When the priest finished with the sermon and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart opened, the coffin rolled inside, then the heart closed.

Just at that moment one of the mourners started laughing. The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?"

"I was thinking about my own funeral" the man replied.
"What's so funny about that?"
"I'm a gynecologist